KC Davis is the anti-Marie Kondo.
Author: KC Davis, LPC
Released: April 2022
Genre: Self-Help
Pages: 156
Audiobook Length: 3 hours (approx.)
Review
This is the book I needed.
KC Davis gives real-life advice on how to view chores (care tasks), and how to best accomplish them.
Most importantly, KC Davis questions if it is a chore that really needs to be done in the first place.
It is a system of asking does my space work for me? Does my system work for me even if it isn't traditional? Does the unhappiness I may feel in my space stem from influencer culture and an unattainable aesthetic?
Structure
The title is telling. Davis wrote this book with ADHD, depression, and other mental health disorders in mind. She looks at mental health and disability with a compassion I have rarely seen in relation to care tasks.
It's a short read filled with high-quality information.
Additional Comments
On a personal note, I have disordered sleep. My sleeping schedule has little rhyme or reason, but I am often exhausted during the day and have a greater deal of energy at night.
My family is never enthused about me cleaning at 4 am. Tasks I want to complete often go undone or not done on a schedule I had previously viewed as appropriate.
I manage to stay on top of dishes, laundry, and trash. But, I've often internalized shame about not having a perfectly organized, clean, dust-free home. I feel this shame even though others don't criticize me for it.
I've been my biggest bully; telling myself I should be and do better.
KC Davis is the anti-Marie Kondo. She explained how I am enough. That I am taking care of my needs and those of my children. That I don’t work for my home, my home should work for me.
I can now view care tasks around my home, not as obligations, but the completion of them as a kindness to my future self. So long as I have a sanitary space for my children, clean clothes for them to wear, food in their belly, and love abounding then it doesn't matter if my table is cluttered with mail, or that my kitchen counter is currently disorganized. No one is going to need therapy if I don't clean the bathroom mirror today. My family will not be scarred for life if I still refuse to wash my baseboards.
We're trying to live up to an unattainable image fed to us by influencers. Internalizing shame and feeling like shit because of it, only perpetuates a vicious cycle of negative self-talk and the compounding of anxiety.
I now look at the dust on my kids' bookshelf and think how awesome it is that they have so many cool books to read.
I will dust it in time. Not because my value is dependent on it being dusted, but because the dust low-key is an annoyance to me, and cleaning it would be a kindness to myself.
About the Author
KC Davis is a licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and the person behind the mental health platform Struggle Care.
Davis gave birth to her second child three weeks prior to Covid lockdown.
She had a toddler, a newborn baby, post-partum depression, and ADHD. Mix these factors with social isolation and it is understandable, and relatable, as how Davis found herself too overwhelmed to complete care tasks in her home.
The author is raw and unrelenting in her honesty about her struggles.
Content Warnings
Mention of abuse, sexual abuse, and trauma.
Verdict
Score: 9.5/10
How to Keep House While Drowning is entirely centered on you and your needs. The amount of compassion emitting from the pages cannot be understated. If you've read this far don't question yourself. Get the book.
Pick it up at your library, local bookstore, or favorite online retailer.
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